Creating resilient balance
The season change is already upon us, welcoming Autumn in the Northern Hemisphere (and Spring in the Southern). For those in the upper latitudes, we can strongly feel the call to bring our awareness and attention inwards.
With so much uncertainty ahead and likelihood of government restrictions for at least 6 more months here in the UK (and probably globally), an invitation is presented to use our time and energy investigating what is that is going on inside, what are our priorities and how we can bring our existing resources and experiences to play.
To me, this year can be simplified in a single word - RESILIENCE - resilience to keep it up with all the changes and the uncertainty but also to persist in the implementation of those changes that we wanted to see in our lives. In a way, developing resilience to navigate external changes (those that are "imposed" by the external environment) and those that are are driving within.
How to balance them? Can we be resilient but not flexible? Think about a bamboo tree - those who know me well, know that I love using this metaphor - . In Asia even up to this day, you might see construction sites where they still use bamboo as scaffolding. Why? Bamboo has a precious quality - besides being resilient, it's FLEXIBLE - it can resist strong winds, tropical rain, and still be in one piece.
So, how can we bring the attributes of the bamboo in our lives? Be resilient, be strong yet flexible?
I want to share with you a note around the IMPOSTER SYNDROME that really comes handy when managing both external and internal change.
What is Imposter Syndrome? According to the latest data, over 3/4 of the world population suffers from it and it’s a deeply rooted response to severe trauma, constant criticism and other forms of abuse, primarily formed by 4 elements:
✖️Fear of failure
When do they arise? Precisely during those moments when we are working towards expanding our current playing field. Embracing our creativity. Trying something new. Coming up with an innovative solution. Challenging our status quo.
I believe t’s important to be aware and present to identify the pattern arising. It’s in fact ‘a good sign’ that we are going in the right direction.
But how do we ultimately get rid of it? I’m not sure we totally can.
One of my favourite ways to deal with it is, first and foremost, coming back to myself (and out of the mental spiral) - connecting with my physical body, the space where I am.
Secondly, accessing the "tangible" elements that will form the counterargument to the story the Imposter Syndrome is telling you. For example, if I'm feeling "fear of failure" - I'm going to connect with all the times I haven't failed in the past and even if things didn't go the way I wanted, appreciating how flexible and receptive I was to embrace the alternative outcome.
This is what we call "creating counter forces" (mind reprogramming) to connect with our inner worth and value that doesn't depend on external validation - your ‘inner warrior’ that force of nature, your best supporter, your infinite pool of resources and experiences who is able to look back and acknowledge how far you have come.
And that dance, between our internal narratives and the reality that we are living is the resilient balance that represents our lives as a whole.
Can you relate to this? Let me know & if you have any experiences about this topic.
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With love and kindness,