Dearest ones,
Welcome SPRING - for those based in the Northern Hemisphere (and welcome Autumn for South Hemisphere folks)!
Spring is true start of the year when we follow the course of nature. Flowers are blooming, days are longer and our hearts - minds - bodies are slowly waking up from the inward-looking, recharging and slow winter.
Full of hunger for action, movement and change.This winter has been somewhat special for me as for the very first time I have truly allowed myself + gave myself permission to slow down (for real). To sleep more, to do less, to synchronise more with the natural rhythms of the seasons.
And it was absolutely mind-blogging.
First, because I (my mind) resisted immensely. It kept bringing "reasons" why I shouldn't slow down, why this was a bad idea, why I didn't deserve this.
Mind chatter based on deeply rooted years (and lifetimes) of conditioning where all there was is hard work and the idea that only through that, results will come. I kept convincing myself that following nature's rhythms was dumb because she doesn't have to deal with worries, imposible expectations and oppressive capitalistic ideals and - a big one: not letting my clients down.
ALL THE EXCUSES
Until one day, I stopped fighting back. I allowed them in, to sit with me. For me to observe - and not identify with them - and curiously investigate what was behind. Recognising that I had reduced myself to primarily identify with this false truth, therefore nothing else could exist or be created.
That was all I could be. Days and weeks where this pattern kept coming up again and again, taking myself back to what it was. Rest. Slowing down. My year of honey. My empowered choice. My needs. Giving myself permission. Deserving. Worthiness. Being loved. And there it was. Finally. No more reasoning left to do. No more hiding.
Time to rest, time to enjoy it, time to continue rewriting my own narrative, one tiny step, one tiny action.
One loving act. One grateful thought. One nap in the middle of the day. Freeing myself one step at a time.
And so much I have enjoyed it that Spring came and caught me off guard - despite being my fav season! Still with the lingering hibernation and gigantic waves of awakening that have pretty much monopolised the last 6 months of my life and that have crushed to pieces all that was left of the limited perception of myself and the world around me. Being in a space where I am being the least clear I haven't been about what's coming yet rooted in an almost unshakeable trust that all is well and I will - as I always do - figure it out as things unfold and present themselves.
This is a very new feeling / state which I am still getting used to, but I gotta say, it's freeing AF. So much lighter, so much space to breathe and stretch. So little expectations yet so much expansion to conquer.And how, regardless of the seasons, rest is the baseline that keeps us going, the food, sun and water that nourish the land all year long to be able to bear fruits (not only in winter).
The penny finally dropped: so after over 2 decades of endless self work, growth, learnings, challenges, therapy, all sorts of healing modalities, shadow work and everything in between, all I was looking for was just right there, in me, all this time?Another way of being was therefore presented, the one through true awareness: once we have reconnected with our inherent sense of trust, capacity and heart wisdom, the ego and its identification with the self have little use.
The ego - thoughts, emotions, beliefs, perspectives - still serves a function so we can continue operating - YET it is not running the show anymore, as it's not dictating what's possible or not, who we are, whose expectations do we owe ourselves to or what we deserve.
What do we do with this? How do we continue developing this new way of being?
We continue un-peeling the narratives that are keeping us small, limited and confiscated to a prison. We see them for what they are, copying mechanisms that have kept us safe until now
We see ourselves beyond our thoughts, emotions and even values. These are mind constructed ideas that might help us navigate the world but to an extent, have kept our existence very small, very limited. Without conscious choice, but an autopilot navigation.
We embrace that wholeness is a complex and abstract space to operate where the need to control, to know, to plan is no longer needed. Yes, we still have a certain direction of travel and we are able to plan when required - not by default, not as a response to avoid uncertainty or unknowing. We aren't attached to the outcome (as it's not conditional to provide x, y, z reward and validation), we are connected to who we deeply are (wholesome and deserving of love without conditions) - see our last newsletter on this topic
We recognise that an alternative way is possible. Beyond the limited perceptions, beliefs and opinions we all have within us, about us and about the world
We could ask ourselves:
What could be possible if this belief wasn't dictating the way I perceive / see the world?
What would be out there for me?
What is there beyond this perception of myself, this piece of identity?
Can I allow myself to be / exist beyond this association?
Further reading on this topic:
And how we are able to take this very important evolution and share it with others as we put it in service of our communities.
For those who have been silenced, the voices that can't be heard. Using our privilege to continue creating a reality where every single one of us can be liberated and be at peace, with ourselves and with the world around us.And how with these wonderful Spring energies we can use our fire for good. How we can turn our emotions, our drive, our hearts to support others, to bring more compassion and understanding - to ourselves first - as well as fiercely standing for humanity. For the planet. For life.
As always, a few announcements coming up below. Thanks for your support & happy Spring to all!
With all my love and gratitude,
Monica & team x