Dearest ones, How's 2020 treating you so far? It seems like Xmas was so long ago.. The fact is that slowly but steadily, we are walking towards having a bit more daylight in our days (Northern Hemisphere) as in a little more than a month we will be welcoming Spring! In last month's newsletter, I shared my 7 key strategies to accomplish long lasting change - but guess what, no matter how well informed you might be and how many tips you gather, the time has come to walk the talk, for real. And it's when we start generating change, that "contrast" arises - what do I mean by that? Our psyche is formed and constantly reshaped by beliefs, structures, stories and narratives we have experienced, we have assimilated, we have been told and we have kept within, building and forming our "microcosmos" - how we see, understand and comprehend life itself. When we challenge that inner "status quo" our defence mechanisms - primarily our "reptilian brain" combined with our ego, will fire our way absolutely everything and anything to keep us the way we are.
Those events can be extremely daunting, dark and overwhelming. We are really working hard to go or get or become something else, and here we go, all those obstacles coming our way, pushing us down. Resistance, fear, negative inner talk, anxiety, impostor syndrome, self-harming thoughts....you name it. What do to when that happens? I used to be great at numbing, at pushing it all the way down and pretending it never happened. However, if we are really committed to understand its function and really transcend it, there is no other way but embrace it. A simple example - I have a presentation to deliver to a new audience. I feel terrified, impostor syndrome kicks in "who do you think you are, you aren't good enough..." all those thoughts, what are they trying to do? Protecting you from "failing", from being "rejected" from being not accepted - go deeper, when was your first memory of not "being accepted" of being rejected? - The subconscious has formed this armour to prevent you from going through the same painful experience. Ok, not too bad then, but if we really decide to stay there, we are missing a great chance to try something new, and most importantly, not staying small because a potential hypothesis of a pattern that could be repeated. Take the time so explore the why, and forgive yourself. Let it go. Be grateful that this situation is coming to you now because it's now that you are ready to deal with it, to transcend it in order to get you closer to where you want to be. It's a blessing in disguise. Also, remember to reach out for help, to your peeps, friends, colleagues, family, your support system. It's important to share (and not allow the shame to creep in) feel supported and understood. As we are all in this wonderful journey, supporting each other in our growth and learning. Does this resonate with you? Can you relate? I'd love to hear from your own experiences. Reach out if you feel like to, I'm always here unconditionally supporting your journey! With love, Mon x