A journey back home

Dearest ones,

As days get longer and our activity calendar seems to expand to unlimited options, opportunities and portals open ahead of us.Invitations to change, to upgrade.

To say no, to wave goodbye.

To outgrow old structures and welcome new, spacious ones.

That has been precisely slowly unfolding for me, revealing new wisdom and insights around home and what it means. If you have known me for some time, you might have noticed how, every so many years, I have seemed to switch country after country. It's honestly difficult to keep track. I managed to guess an approximate number of house moves I have managed so far - 21!

21 spaces I have called home.

21 physical locations in 7 countries across 43 years.

An average of 2 plus years per home.

That metric sort of startled me and made me wonder and also reflect on how unusual this is for most people. No wonder I am rarely understood when I respond to the question "where are you from?" with a different answer from what the majority of people expect (home = where you are born).

In fact, all those places hold a version of home to me. Safe spaces, refuges, inspirational and expansive playgrounds. Also challenging, antagonising and despairing. But every single one of them had a meaning, a function, a role in the particular moment they held me. They were and will always be home.

And here we are at it again. Having just decided to leave the "in between" solution of being in the Netherlands and UK. It's been 3 years where I barely got what I wanted but definitely got a lot of what I clearly needed.

To grow, to evolve, to liberate.And yes, we are coming back home. To the UK. To England. To London.

To the place who set me free for the very first time, almost 30 years ago. To a home I feel conflicted with, a home I left 3 years ago thinking I wouldn't be ever back to. My 3rd time arriving to London.

Feeling hopeful, open and willing to embrace what it brings. With no expectations or desire to seek salvation or to run away from anything. If anything, I am walking towards it, with open arms.

Because I am finally finding that home is where I am. Where my heart is. Where I feel safe. In the landscape of my body, my experiences, my memories. Not a passport. Not a birth certificate.

But a personal and empowered choice. I am choosing home. And I am choosing London, once again. Perhaps, a chance for redemption ahead. An opportunity to rekindle, to get to know each other again. 

And I ask myself:

Wouldn't it be nice to grow from simplicity?

Wouldn't it be nice to embrace community?

Wouldn't it be nice to feel stable, safe and welcomed? 

And realising that all of those wishes and hopes start with me. With being at peace with myself. To be able to inhabit my body without being at war with it. To be open, accepting and willing to create bridges of understanding.

These are my hopes for this new chapter. 

Welcoming slower, more stable and grounded avenues ahead.Very looking forward to continuing sharing it with you all.

Very thankful for all the experiences, people and unfoldings that the "land-under" (aka Netherlands) has provided. It has definitely made me wiser, freer and calmer.Watch this space! More news to come as we settle in.

With all my love and gratitude,

Monica & team x