Updated: Nov 10, 2021
Emerging from over a month of deep exploration, illness and stillness, where life played catch up real time.
As the storm keeps hauling within and around, I have struggled to find my feet and feel grounded. I let myself go and be drifted away in the swirls of the waves.
Realising that as necessary as it is to tap into the darkness, the deep shadow within, we aren’t meant to be there forever. And I sometimes find difficult to let it go, as my addictive patterns find a way to keep me down.
Deep programming around non-deservingness has arisen, letting me know the work is not done yet. It’s a lifetime’s mastery to truly inhabit and embody an open, receiving full heart.
Accepting what it comes without questioning whether we deserve it, we have worked hard enough to accept it.
Taking it slow for now, as I stay committed to the wonderful discovery of the self as I transition this new stage.
Staying open to the possibilities coming my way.
This month I want to keep it simple and share with you one of my favourite and simple ways to stay afloat and remain positive - based on the 3P's Resilience Theory from Martin Seligman: which states that it’s not the nature of adversity that is most important, but how we deal with it:
1. Personalisation – a distortion described as the internalisations of problems or failure. In other words, when we hold ourselves accountable for bad things that happen, we put a lot of unnecessary blame on ourselves and make it harder to bounce back. It is good to accept how we contribute to challenges or setbacks, but we want to do so as a means of learning from the experience to move forward, rather than blaming and judging ourselves for mistakes made. Some things are absolutely 100% beyond our control – we must challenge our thoughts to get a more accurate view of what happened, one that empowers us to bounce back.
2. Pervasiveness – assuming negative situations spread across different areas of our life. As an example, missing a deadline at work and assuming everything at home that day is also going to be affected negatively! This thinking will only get in the way of your efforts at recovery, and you will stew in your suffering by making the event more than what it really is. With pervasiveness, perspective is key.
3. Permanence – believing that bad experiences or events last forever, rather than being one-off events. Permanence prevents us from putting effort into improving our situation, making us feel overwhelmed and as though we can’t recover. We are more inclined to give up or have a fixed mindset (‘why bother’) view of our circumstances.
These three perspectives help us understand how our thoughts, mindset, and beliefs affect our experiences. By recognising their role in our ability to adapt positively, we can start becoming more resilient.
How could you build resilience in a sustainable, courageous and loving way?
With all my love and gratitude,