What a time to be alive, there is so much going on... So, how do we manage the unlimited amount of inputs we receive on a daily basis with still making space for our own development?
Our whole experience is formed by values, believes and expectations we have set for ourselves - some of them unconsciously and integrated from our own environment (not really ours but incorporated by proxy).
In coaching theory, this is sometimes called filters, a sort of lenses we see and experience the world through. They have been formed in our early years of development and they help us navigate the uncertain and unpredictable world in front of us. However, if left unattended, explored, understood or challenged, they can become a monumental blockage for our evolution, growth and development.
Imagine that you were still trying to wear your favourite t-shirt from when you were 3? I'm pretty sure it won't fit anymore! Well, my friends, that's exactly what most of us keep doing: using those tiny filtered glasses that helped us to feel more protected, safe and belonging to our community back then to understand the world we are living now. They can feel outdated, limited and out of context.
This is the backbone of the work we do: generating awareness, becoming more empowered of our choices, existing agency, to finally take ownership to make the necessary changes in order to create the new paradigm / order that is more aligned to our true nature:
Awareness: seeing what it wasn't accessible / hidden, about us, our psyche and ourselves
Empowerment: recognising we have a choice to make: to heal, integrate and shift to a new way of being
Actioning change: taking the necessary actions in behaviours, habits that will enable the new way
So. unless we enable that reflection space for us to get to know ourselves better, and become aware of why we do what we do (that generate the results it does) it will be very difficult to generate different results.
In other words, without recognising what's getting in our way, actions won't stick for long, as we will automatically go back to the "familiar" way of doing things.
I usually like to call the "getting out of our own way" process as having a cup of tea with your gremlins (aka inner saboteurs, imposter syndrome narratives, non-supportive inner talk, anxiety, depressive thoughts, destructive spirals.....) and, with tons of compassion and willingness to listen without judgement, hear the real reason they are there, most of the time "trying to protect you from a threat" - which might be partially based on past experiences but that in real life might not really be rationally connected - but our "alarm mechanisms" are on and have identified it as potential danger.
And even if it doesn't sound easy, it's actually a lot of fun! You can even nick name them, bring a sparkle of humour when they come up but most importantly, you will be able to develop the muscle, overtime, to:
- Identify triggers, to hijack the emotional wave as early as possible
- As you develop ways to take you back to "the here and now" and able to see the situation for what it is, not for what it reminds you.