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Cultivating self-trust

Dearest ones,

I'm sure that I'm not the only one when I look back at how we started 2020 and realise it's been a hell of a year. It was impossible to predict what would happen, and still, here we are, standing in one piece.

It might not have been the year that we expected, but we can definitely say that we have learnt a lot and that one way or another, our patience, our resilience and our trust have been challenged. Not once, but several times.

Some of us have lost family members, we have lost businesses, we have lost faith in the world, in ourselves. But despite all those fatalities, we managed to stand up once again.

If anything, we truly deserve to pat ourselves in the back and say out loud "I am a warrior!" We have survived all the calamities and on top of that, we have learnt so much in the process. About our boundaries, about our priorities, about what is really important and about what are the things, people, situations and environments that don't fit our world anymore, so they have to go.

In this process, there is a powerful learning that arises: the capacity to trust our own inner resilience, our capacity to trust ourselves, our own judgement and our own wisdom. With the level of uncertainty that we have navigated so far, we have been capable of finding a way despite experiencing some moments of absolutely disconcert. If we are now able to sail in the most dangerous and brave seas, we have mastered a very valuable asset that we can take forwards as a formidable win.

And to keep developing this sense of inner-trust, I want to share a couple of my favourite ideas to nourish, deepen and embrace the trust in ourselves, in our capacities, skills and value: Ways to increase your self-trust: 1/ AWARENESS Bring awareness to what you are thinking and feeling and not just to what you are doing 2/ LISTEN Take time to listen to signals your physical body is sending. Naming them will help. If you doubt your instinct, take time to process what you are feeling—slow down and move toward emotions or sensations 3/ RESILIENCE Remind yourself that one poor choice doesn’t mean you don’t know what’s best for you. Just because you made one mistake doesn’t mean every choice you make will be a mistake 4/ RESPECT Respect your opinion as much as you respect the opinion of others. Reassure yourself that you are your own best expert 5/ OBJECTIVITY Think like a witness rather than a participant. What would you advise someone else to do in your situation? 6/ RECOGNITION Gather evidence to support your belief that you do make good choices for yourself. Start by spending time being grateful when you do trust yourself with successful outcomes. Make a list of things other people tell you you’re good at. Celebrate these aspects of yourself. 7/ COMPASSION Make a list of things you like about yourself. It’s challenging to trust someone you don’t love. Allow yourself the empathy you’d extend to another.

Practices to strengthen the connection with yourself: 1/ Meditation Time spent meditating strengthens your connection to yourself. Focusing inward allows you to know more about who you are and what you want 2/ Gratitude When practicing gratitude, put a “me” spin on it. Try being grateful for a part of your personality. “I am thankful that I see the best in people” or “I am thankful that I enjoy spending time alone.” 3/ Connection Spend time with people who are reinforcing. Choose people who applaud effort and model resilience. You become more and more like those who you spend the most time with so cultivate positive friendships. Do these suggestions resonate with any of your daily practices? What do you think? Give it a go and let me know!

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